In case you don’t already know, our national symbol, the kangaroo, is one of the most dangerous creatures, at close range, in the outback. They will happily punch and scratch you with the front legs, but their secret weapon is to hold you with the front legs, lean back on their tail, and rake you with their powerful, and clawed, hind legs. There has been many a larrikin jackeroo, taught a lesson in bush blueing from either a kangaroo or emu.

Dances with Roo’s

Stuey and Bluey were two cocky’s sons,
From a property west of the river at Bourke.
They were big and strong, and if you did the sums,
There was a couple of brick “out-houses” at work.

One day these two lads on their way back from town,
Hit a roo, which had jumped the wrong way.
And after the impact the Ute suddenly slowed down,
And it looked like it had decided to stay.

With the Ute hissing steam they surveyed the sad scene,
With roo fur and blood marking the trail.
And at the end of the carnage the corpse could be seen,
And Bluey thought of soup.... With “kangaroo tail”.

But Stue’y had other plans for the marsupial red,
He said why don’t we dress him in top hat and tails.
They had just bought the gear cause their sister soon wed,
And they even had the dress and the veils.

So with Stue’y all radiant in a majestic white gown,
And the seven-foot red, groom propped up beside.
Bluey acting as priest then married them down,
Then he photographed the roo and his bride.

Bluey then ran to the Ute and tuned the radio in
To a station playing some sort of a slow dance.
And there on the tarmac in tune to the din,
The red roo and his bride spun in romance.

Then a bus full of Jap tourists stopped for the sport,
And the flashing of their cameras was blinding.
And Bluey explained though the engagement was short,
The marriage remained legal and binding.

Then caught in wedded bliss Stue’y went for a hairy kiss,
But instead was caught by surprise by the roo.
He’d been unconscious not dead and wanted no part of this,
So he proceeded to throw punches at Stue.

Well the tempo picked up with both partners awake,
And Stue’y in high heels missed his shoes.
But he held on with fright cause his life was at stake,
This must surely be “Dances with Roo’s”.

Waltzing cheek to cheek like a love struck pair,
With the radio blaring to their movement.
The roo’s powerful back leg’s kept raking the air,
And Stuey knew to let go meant disembowelment.

After two solid hours of swirling and prancing,
Stue’y desperately let out with a stammer.
I cant stand much more of this Roo’s dirty dancing,
Try and hit him on the head with a hammer.

So as the couple hopped and bopped about the place,
Bluey stalked them with his nine pounder.
Then he swung and he missed and hit Stue in the face,
Much to the relief of the top-hatted bounder.

Stue’y dropped like a stone from the force of the blow,
And the roo was quick to shoot through.
And the Japanese tourists applauded the show,
Then past round the hat for poor old Stue.

Now this tale is renown round the district of Bourke,
And that tux wearing roo has entered folklore.
And Stuey never leaves home just preferring to work,
Cause the local girls know that “he’s spoke for”.

© Ron Wilson

[Back to Poem list]